I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Randomize
