she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
