Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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