we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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