Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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