I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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