hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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