Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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