If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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