my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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