We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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