yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
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Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
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If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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