Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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