Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I have feelings that need drinking.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
