this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
