I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
