somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize