Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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