Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
