Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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