That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
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