They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize