I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
