I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
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