this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Randomize
