You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
