you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
