The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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