Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize