Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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