Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
