The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is officially offended.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize