it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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