Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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