he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
