Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
