i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
they need to just BURY HIM!
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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