is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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