Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
