Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
