There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
