i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
