Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
