It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
