Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
