Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
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The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.