Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.

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  (203): Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle. http://tfl.nu/zfv7
  Replies (7) Good night (2502) Bad night (460)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.

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  (228): two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter. http://tfl.nu/ayzd
  Replies (26) Good night (727) Bad night (3737)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe

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  (508): I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe http://tfl.nu/0gxj
  Replies (17) Good night (900) Bad night (3330)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.

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  (302): because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride. http://tfl.nu/wwvv
  Replies (10) Good night (1090) Bad night (3724)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?

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  (570): Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof? http://tfl.nu/enhx
  Replies (11) Good night (2918) Bad night (696)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?

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  (402): Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend? http://tfl.nu/ycxt
  Replies (6) Good night (1064) Bad night (1927)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.

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  (918): he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond. http://tfl.nu/174e
  Replies (4) Good night (1725) Bad night (828)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.

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  (360): Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover. http://tfl.nu/pu5x
  Replies (4) Good night (788) Bad night (1334)
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  (310): View more from California

  Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?

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  (310): Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away? http://tfl.nu/o5qu
  Replies (10) Good night (888) Bad night (1978)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.

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  (740): As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there. http://tfl.nu/knxy
  Replies (11) Good night (3349) Bad night (609)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.

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  (201): My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now. http://tfl.nu/1l2n
  Replies (8) Good night (1871) Bad night (1250)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.

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  (724): i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager. http://tfl.nu/vpf4
  Replies (5) Good night (1437) Bad night (444)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Sadly, she's the porn star that got away

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  (954): Sadly, she's the porn star that got away http://tfl.nu/sl2s
  Replies (3) Good night (290) Bad night (463)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.

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  (402): Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring. http://tfl.nu/m8y1
  Replies (2) Good night (480) Bad night (136)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?

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  (541): I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night? http://tfl.nu/w38g
  Replies (2) Good night (496) Bad night (154)

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