Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK

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  (508): Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK http://tfl.nu/0izu
  Replies (9) Good night (2076) Bad night (590)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.

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  (208): I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs. http://tfl.nu/3e1a
  Replies (29) Good night (3412) Bad night (694)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing

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  (414): honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing http://tfl.nu/5ke6
  Replies (17) Good night (4081) Bad night (735)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here

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  (906): Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here http://tfl.nu/0qbu
  Replies (12) Good night (6014) Bad night (798)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night

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  (440): It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night http://tfl.nu/ffc5
  Replies (17) Good night (1126) Bad night (2439)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.

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  (916): Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity. http://tfl.nu/tb29
  Replies (4) Good night (3223) Bad night (1017)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.

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  (719): As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF. http://tfl.nu/ti4u
  Replies (3) Good night (1264) Bad night (642)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.

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  (904): Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light. http://tfl.nu/d5q4
  Replies (20) Good night (1292) Bad night (538)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit

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  (720): I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit http://tfl.nu/p0py
  Replies (5) Good night (635) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy

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  (989): I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy http://tfl.nu/as9c
  Replies (5) Good night (2489) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!

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  (225): I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid! http://tfl.nu/3alp
  Replies (4) Good night (526) Bad night (1706)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.

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  (425): I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me. http://tfl.nu/51kh
  Replies (21) Good night (691) Bad night (2761)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.

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  (401): He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached. http://tfl.nu/uw2g
  Replies (1) Good night (788) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything

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  (304): I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything http://tfl.nu/gg1p
  Replies (6) Good night (1303) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?

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  (267): do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate? http://tfl.nu/3j8j
  Replies (3) Good night (736) Bad night (304)

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