quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.