someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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