i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.