its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?