Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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