just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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