you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
