what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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