I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize