Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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