Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
