There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
