My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
