Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
