You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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