Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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