just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
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She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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