Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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