that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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