Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
