Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize