a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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